I know it's been over a month since I blogged, but our desktop computer is a complete piece of crap and I hardly ever sit down to attempt to use it. I decided to give it a try while my hubby is out getting us Taco Bell :)
This will probably be radom/rambling...
I am doing ok. Paisley is doing good...moving around a lot. We are both getting bigger. Well, I am getting very big...I'll know how big she is in about 2 weeks when I have my next ultrasound. I hope she's getting huge to explain why I'm such a giant. I think I am gaining weight because sometimes I eat just to get her to move. She's kinda stubborn and doesn't just move around because I'm poking her. It seems she needs a stimulant like food or orange juice ;) I'm getting more and more paranoid as the date of my scheduled c-section gets closer. It's like the closer I get the worse my anxiety is. 20% of the time I'm hopeful and pretty sure she's coming home with me. The other 80% of the time I'm planning what to do with her after she's born still, like what to bury her in and what her headstone will look like. Morbid, I know. I can't help it. I pray she does make it here alive and well and that she forgives me one day for assuming the worst. I love her SO MUCH and I don't know what I will do if she doesn't make it. I am so freaking ready to be an earthly mommy. I think I'll be a great mom and I just really really really want to be given that chance.
I'll try to post more later on...maybe this weekend.
Thanks for your continued prayers and positive thoughts! :)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
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Great to hear an update and glad that you both are doing well!
ReplyDeleteStill praying for you! I will be so glad when she is finally in your arms and alive!! I know it's hard to imagine her being here but you've got a lot of people behind the scenes rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteI just wish I could take away all your doubts and fears but we all know that is part of the journey we are on. Just like Mackenzie, I just want you to be happy and enjoy this, as you deserve. You will get your chance to be an amazing "earthly" mama in just a few short weeks. Hang in there, girl. And the weight will most definitely come off, even though we would pay ANY price for a newborn in our arms. You're gonna be great!
ReplyDeletexo
Hey Ashley--just checking in on you. I hope you are doing well and nearing the end of your pregnancy with excitement! Thinking of you and your sweet family.
ReplyDeletexo