Unbelievable

Seriously. You are not going to believe the day I had.

After all that talk in my previous post last night, I woke up this morning with a weird sensation in my belly. I don't know how to explain it...kind of like heartburn but lower...like actually in my belly. It's been happening randomly for a couple weeks. Anyways, with that weird feeling and a prayer...I took one more pregnancy test. Wouldn't you know...immediately POSITIVE. What?!? I started freaking out because, although my period hasn't shown up, I have had some bleeding off and on for a couple days so I was SURE I was miscarrying. I called my best friend real quick and freaked out to her a little bit and then I immediately called my doctor (not my doctor with Mackenzie...one I've found since then). I told them that I literally just took the test and it was positive and that I had been bleeding and that my last pregnancy was a stillbirth and that I was freaking out and that I needed to come in right away (in a run on sentence just like that, too! ha). That was at 8:30 AM and they asked if I could be there by 9 AM and I said yes. I turned off the shower...no time for that now...dressed and ran out the door. I was freaking out the whole way there. My stomach was in knots which made me think I was cramping (...miscarrying). When I got there I had to wait a little while and I had to "use the restroom" because my stomach was so upset over all the freaking out. I accidentally peed without giving a "sample" but at that point I was like who cares. By the time they called me back and asked for a urine sample I told them I couldn't do it. I'd already peed 2 times in the past hour!! They asked me to try anyways, so I did and amazingly I was able to do it. The doctor came in a while later and told me that the urine sample/pregnancy test came back NEGATIVE and that she believes my home pregnancy test was a false positive. FALSE POSITIVE!??!?! You're kidding me!! That has got to be suuuuper rare...and of course that kind of shit would happen to me. I can't have a normal life anymore...it always has to be something. So she checks my cervix to make sure it wasn't open (which apparently would signal that I was miscarrying). It was closed so she sent me to get my blood drawn for a blood pregnancy test to be sure I was not in fact pregnant. The results should be in tomorrow morning (12/17 ~ Mackenzie's 6 month anniversary).

All of that being said, I decided to calm down and just be happy that I wasn't pregnant at all rather than having a miscarriage. I went to work and had a normal day, but since I'm insane I stopped by the store on my way home and got one more pregnancy test. I took it as soon as I got home. It was one of those ones where one line is "not pregnant" and two lines is "pregnant." Well, after a minute or so I saw a second line...but it wasn't as dark as the first line. I had no intention of telling my husband (he didn't even know what I had done all day) but when I couldn't decide if my line was dark enough to be considered positive I went in the kitchen to show him. He thought it looked pretty positive, so I called my best friend to discuss it with her. She thought it sounded positive, too. My husband and I decided to go to the store to get another digital...just in case. (The first one I took this morning that was positive was digital) Anyways, we got another test but I'm not going to take it until the morning.

I sort of wonder if the doctor's test was a false negative since that was my third time to pee in an hours time. I can't imagine there could be too many hormones left in there after that many times. I feel a lot better thinking that I might be pregnant because the bleeding has stopped.

So, can you believe it? What a day! I've taken 3 pregnancy tests and 2 were positive...those odds seem ok. I really want to be pregnant but I just can't let myself go there fully yet. I'm waiting to see what the doctor says about my bloodwork in the morning. I'll keep you guys posted, but apparently there is hope that I'm pregnant....