Today one of the girls who was pregnant at the same time I was brought her baby to the office to show him off. She walked into my office with him and I felt my whole body get hot. I tried to look at him and act cool, but within a few minutes I had to get the hell out of that room. I sat over by a friend/co-worker of mine and talked and tried to pretend that it wasn't bothering me. Of course, she knew different but she played along to make me feel better. Eventually I just logged into the computer next to hers and kept working because this girl and her little one stayed for over an hour. The shittiest part of this was that when she came into my office (that I share with 4 others) she said "they told me to come in here." WTF!? Who the hell told this girl to bring her 2 month old son into my freaking office? There are two other offices in our department...but the group of managers told her to come into the one where I work. Seriously? No one even seemed to notice that it was an issue. I mean, wasn't it obvious when I left the room within a couple minutes and didn't come back for a long time? In fact, once she left I went to my office long enough to clock out and shut everything down and got the hell out of there before anyone even saw me. Once I got home my friend/one of the managers texted me to see if I was ok. Well, I avoided having a meltdown at work, so I guess I'm "ok."
As a side note, the girl who brought her baby to work was actually due about 3 weeks after me but she had him early...like 4 weeks early. It was a big deal in my office because everyone knew how badly I wanted Mackenzie to hurry up and make her grand entrance, and they knew when I heard she had her baby first that I'd be jealous and they thought that was funny. Yeah well, not only did she get to have her baby before me...she got to keep hers. Guess the joke really is on me.
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I still can't believe you are managing to be back at work. This is exactly why I didn't go back, to avoid situations like this. Our office only has 30 or so people, but I was preg at the same time as about six other women - they were all way behind me though and I was first cab off the rank. I knew if I went back, I would have had to survive the last few months of their pregnancies, watch them all go on mat leave one by one, then watch them all come in parading their babies one by one in the weeks and months that followed. I couldn't do it. My hat goes off to you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I have not gone back to work yet (next week I will) but there is another lady due on the exact same day that I was. I hope she is not there when I return, I know it sounds mean, but I just don't want to see her big belly.
ReplyDeletexx,
Tina
Wow. I'm in awe you handled it as well as you did AND you're at work! Sending hugs.
ReplyDeleteholy crap, i'm so frustrated for you. the sad thing is, so many people Don't realize it's an issue, and that hurts too. why is it so hard for people to remember and to THINK? the first time somebody brought their baby over to the house for a bbq, maybe 3 or 4 weeks after i lost Leila, nobody could understand why i locked myself in my room and wouldn't come out to eat! i know people don't understand what we are going through, but sometimes i really do think that people are freaking idiots. really. i had to call another friend and have her spread the word that putting a baby in christy's face is not a smart idea. you'd think that would be common sense, no? apparently not.
ReplyDeletei'm so sorry you had to go through that. i can't believe how brave you are to be back at work already. kudos to you. it's been 13 weeks now for me, and i'm looking for a job, but i'm dreading having to work again. but, gotta pay the bills.
love,
christy
ps. i'll read your email tomorrow while i'm dog sitting and will be extreeemely bored!
I am so deeply sorry that you had to endure that situation. Seeing other women bring in healthy living babies in this world is like a slap on the face. I'm not the type of person that feels comfortable showing everyone around me how much shit has stricken my heart. That's why I started blogging here; it's helped so much.
ReplyDeleteOh this is so unbelievably painful - how people just do not think. I went back to work at about 6 weeks, and what a mess that was. About two weeks after I was back, some women across the office were gossiping (in such a catty way) about a pregnant woman who'd delivered in an emergency because she'd suffered from late term PIH, and how her husband took off work and weren't they being overly dramatic about it. It was just blood pressure and they all would have been fine.
ReplyDeleteThese office gossips knew my daughter was dead, knew I was in ear-shot and yet continued with their cattiness. They didn't know that I too suffered from late term PIH but their cattiness showed they probably wouldn't have shut their mouths anyways. I had to leave the office. It was like an explosion of tears, and the heat surge through my body was exactly like you express.
People just do NOT get it until they are forced to get it by having to live through this lousy experience. i'm so sorry you are having to live through this.