The Secret Garden Meeting (August)

If you created a bedroom for your baby tell us what it was like?

Mackenzie's room was just beautiful! Everything she had was brand new (courtesy of her grandma & grandpa along with her great grandparents). She had a cherry wood crib with the matching dresser/changing table. She had a super comfortable rocking chair (more like a rocking recliner). Her bedding was ladybugs & paisley designs. She had the mobile, blanket, curtains, etc. to match her bedding. I decorated (all by myself) the most beautiful wooden letters that spelled out her name and were hanging above her crib. We painted the whole room two shades of pink. The top half lighter than the bottom half. It was gorgeous! She would have loved it.

*The pictures I have below are before the room was painted*

Did you have it ready for them before they were born?

Oh yeah I had it ready for months before she was due. Pretty much as soon as we told my family we were pregnant my grandpa offered to buy her crib and we went to pick it out. That was the first thing we had. It was all setup for a while and then my mom decided to help my husband paint it. My dad installed chair rail on the walls around the whole room (if you don't know what that is...that's ok because I didn't know before they put it in either). I even had all her stuff washed in Dreft and put away. I was so ready.

If so how did you cope coming home to it without your baby?

Well, I was so protective of her room even before she was due that we pretty much always kept the door closed. I didn't want my stepchildren in there messing anything up. Plus for half of my pregnancy we had cats that we kept indoors and I didn't want them going in there at all. It was still hard coming home knowing it would always be waiting for her. I can barely go in there. Before I came home from the hospital my dad and husband came home ahead of me and took everything baby related out of the house and shoved it in her room and closed the door back. I've been in there maybe 5 times since we came home without her. It's hard. It smells so sweet in there. Not sweet like babies, but sweet because the smell reminds me of how excited I was to bring her home to this little room. It actually smells a little like paint and wood, but the smell has a lot of memories attached. We keep the door closed still. In the morning before I leave for work it's like the door to her room is glowing. Sun comes in heavy through her window and shines through the cracks around the door. That's hard sometimes.

Did you pack it all away?

No, absolutely not. Like I said earlier, we did take her stuff from everywhere else in the house and put it in her room, but nothing has been packed away. I'm pretty much refusing. I posted about this a while back, but my intention is to leave her room exactly the way it is until we are pregnant with another baby (God willing) and find out the sex. As I said before, if we are never able to have another baby then I will leave her room as is until we move out of this house. I'm actually (for a million different reasons) hoping our next baby will be a girl too so we don't have to repaint the room. I'll rearrange it and change the decor/theme and get the new baby new bedding, etc. but I would be able to leave the beautiful paint job.

What is your baby's room now?

It's still hers. It will always be hers. And it's a bitter sweet reminder.

If you are trying to conceive again, or are pregnant again how do you feel about setting up another room before your baby is born?

Well, as I said, I will redo the room if we're pregnant with another baby after we find out the sex but I already know it will be SO HARD. I don't even want to think about it.